


Red

by silver_drip



Series: Civil War Unconnected Stories [10]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Wakanda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 13:49:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7270801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_drip/pseuds/silver_drip
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve notices something strange.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you see any errors. Binge wrote this then edited it while half asleep.
> 
> I also have no idea how I come up with this stuff, but here it is.

* * *

 

“ _You’re no better than Red Skull_.” Steve had faltered when he’d heard Tony say that, but had pulled Bucky tighter to him and fled Siberia.

That had been months ago, but Tony’s words still haunted him, especially now.

The accusation was fresh and in the news.

_The Second Red Skull_

It was preposterous.

“ETA two minutes,” Clint said, breaking Steve out of his thoughts.

Steve focused his mind on their mission. T’Challa had located a building that was connected to Zemo and Project Paperclip.

It was in Sweden, a member of the UN and signatory of the Sokovia Accords. They had stated from the start that they wouldn’t allow any Avengers into their country. Steve wouldn’t let petty politics stop him though. The world needed protecting and it was his job to protect it.

Steve and Sam dropped in under the cover of night, Clint and Wanda would come in from the opposite side, and Scott would stay with the jet as back up.

The building was at the edge of the city. There was no one around and Sam made quick work of the security system thanks to the gear in Red Wing. Steve was still surprised by all the different things the small drone could do with only the slightest prompting from Sam.

They moved on silent feet, surveying the area efficiently.

Clint reported in.

There seemed to be no one else in the building.

Steve ordered them to stand guard as he found the control room.

It would do no good for them to find out about what Zemo’s plan, about what happened in Siberia.

Some part of Steve thought it was strange that none of them objected. They were all better when it came to computers and data mining than he was.

Trust. That had to be the reason. They trusted him.

Steve pushed that thought away and focused on the clunky computer in front of him.

The screen was glowing red and he could see his reflection in it.

The image was harsh. His cheek bones looked gaunt and his eyes sunken in—all shaded red.

Text appeared and he focused on it.

* * *

“ _—linked to the former Avengers. The blackout hit a hospital and various businesses. Two deaths have been linked with the three-hour long blackout caused by an explosion in the warehouse district. Former Avengers Wanda Maximoff and Clinton Barton were seen in security feeds, but investigations are still under way._ ”

Steve clicked off the newscast.

The explosion had been unavoidable. There had been a simple trap set in the computers in the warehouse. They had only survived because of Wanda shielding them with her powers.

Vision or Tony probably would have not activated it while going through the files, and Natasha probably would have known it was a trap all along, but they weren’t part of the Secret Avengers. They were dancing to the politicians’ tune and were useless to Steve.

At least another loose end had been tied up. One less chance of the Secret Avengers finding out Steve’s secret.

Steve closed his eyes, trying not to think of how tired he was. He could see his red reflection in the computer screen and pushed his thoughts towards the good times he had with Bucky.

* * *

“ _Of course! Serums that cause physical changes will have impacts on minds!_ ” a talking head said to the newscaster. “ _Need we look further than Doctor Banner? The Hulk contrasts greatly with the academic!_ ”

“ _That was a completely different treatment though. You can’t compare him to Captain Rogers,_ ” the anchor said sharply.

“ _He was injected with a version of the serum that Red Skull had. Captain Blonsky also was injected with a version as well as some of Doctor Banner’s blood. Both of them went off the deep end._ ”

“ _You seem to be forgetting that all three of your examples have strange physical manifestations where as Captain Rogers just looks like he lives in the gym_.” The anchor chuckled to himself.

“ _Have you seen the before and after pictures of Captain Rogers? They’re night and day. Besides, Doctor Banner looks normal too, but we all know there is a monster lurking inside. I’m not letting a handsome face fool me._ ”

“Why are you watching this crap?” Sam asked while plopping into the seat beside Steve.

“It was on.” Steve shrugged.

“ _The point is that these serums vastly changed their bodies. Their minds were bound to be effected._ ”

* * *

“Do I look burned to you?” Steve asked Clint once they were back in Wakanda after their week long mission in the Sahara.

Steve kept glancing at the reflective surfaces they passed.

Clint groaned.

“If you’re trying to sympathize with the rest of us, it’s not working. You’re fine. Me on the other hand… SPF 1000 couldn’t have protected me from that sun.” Clint winced as he picked at his peeling skin. “I still have no idea how Wanda didn’t get burned like the rest of us.” Clint glared at him. “And you with your super serum skin.” Clint stuck out his tongue at Steve. “I’m going to take a bath in aloe vera.”

Clint walked off to his room, dragging his bag behind him.

Steve stopped in front of a metallic wall. He was definitely pink.

* * *

The lights blinked red, catching Steve’s attention.

He automatically reached for his shield, forgetting it wasn’t there for the hundredth time.

“What’s happening?” Wanda asked, rushing into the common room.

“I don’t know.” Steve’s hands clenched into fists. He had to keep Bucky safe. “Gather the others here. I’ll go investigate.”

Steve sprinted in the direction of Bucky’s cryochamber, nearly running directly into T’Challa.

“Good, you are awake. I have received word from Mr. Stark that he is visiting. He has just landed.”

Steve felt his heart stop.

“Oh god no.” He shoved passed T’Challa, but his arm was grabbed.

“He already knows you all are here and said he is not here for your friend.”

“You don’t know Tony. When he has his mind set on something there’s no stopping him.” If Steve wasn’t certain Tony wanted to enact his revenge with his own two hands then the whole country would have probably been blown off the map.

“Center yourself, Captain. Even if he wished to fight I would not allow it on my soil. If it will ease your mind I shall increase Sergeant Barnes’ guards.”

Steve nodded, despite knowing that wouldn’t be enough.

T’Challa let him go and Steve rushed to start the dethawing process.

* * *

It was two hours later when Tony left. Bucky hadn’t even been halfway through dethawing and Steve had to freeze his best friend again. He knew Bucky wouldn’t be happy to be woken now that the immediate threat had passed.

Steve made him leave Bucky’s side to check on the other Secret Avengers.

“Where’s Clint?” he asked. Clint’s spot was noticeably open on the couch.

“He’s gone. Tony brought his wife and they explained the pardon they had worked out for him,” Wanda said, her eyes set on her feet.

“What?” Steve asked, feeling anger overwhelm him then confusion at his own emotions. “Why?”

“Laura wanted her kids to have a father. Clint to see his family again.” Sam shrugged.

“And no one thought to tell me?” His frustration showed in his tone, catching everyone’s attention.

“I suggested you come discuss it with us, but Laura said it had nothing to do with you.”

“He’s part of my team.” Steve could feel his face becoming blotchy with emotion.

“Can’t fault a man for wanting to be with his family,” Sam said lightheartedly.

“Tony can’t just…” It was ridiculous, but Steve felt like throwing a tantrum.

“He got the UN’s approval. So long as Clint doesn’t pick up any weapons and keeps up his volunteer work he’s a free man.”

“So they’re benching another super-hero?” Steve shook his head. “Damn it, Tony. Can’t you just keep your nose out of others business?”

“He wanted to go Cap. It’s not like he abducted Clint or is throwing him in jail.” Sam was giving him a look that Steve couldn’t interpret.

* * *

Steve kept his frustration in check for a good two hours before he ended up calling Tony.

“ _Business or pleasure_?” Tony asked after the first ring.

“If this is some form of petty revenge—”

“ _Woah, back it up—_ ”

“You can’t just grab one of my team members like you’re choosing which lobster you’re having for dinner!”

“ _Oh fuck you, Rogers_ ,” Tony said in a calm voice. “ _You’re a red-handed liar_.”

“ _Cap_?” Clint said before Steve could respond. “ _I’m going home. Be happy for me. This was my choice_.”

* * *

Steve was picking at his skin in the mirror.

His irritation and anger at Tony hadn’t let up even though it had been weeks since Clint left.

Steve’s skin felt wrong, almost plastic like. He couldn’t understand why.

He’d have to give up drinking cranberry juice. His skin was starting to look pink.

Pink and tacky.

Like old bubble gum.

Or silly putty.

He was surprised none of the others had commented on it.

They were probably just trying to be polite.

* * *

“Who are you talking to?” Steve asked. Wanda clutched her cell phone to her chest, red power flaring from her hands. She let out a breath and her posture relaxed.

“Viz. Tony gave me a phone.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“What do you mean?” The phone made a chiming noise, but she didn’t look down at it.

“Tony—”

“Already knows where we are. What could one cell phone hurt?”

“I’ve seen the movies. He could use that to listen in on us.”

“You are being paranoid. Viz would not allow that.” She looked confident, but it did nothing to ease Steve’s irritation.

“Vision might not be aware of it. Tony could probably take over the world with a cell phone if he tried.” Steve held out his hand.

“What?” she asked, staring at his hand.

“Give me the phone.”

“Why?” Wanda clutched the phone again.

“Because we don’t know what it’s capable of.”

Her eyes narrowed at him.

“We don’t know what I’m capable of either.”

“That’s different.” Steve tried to relax his stance, but it only made Wanda tense up further.

“I’m not leaving, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Steve flinched. Wanda had gotten to the heart of the matter even though he hadn’t known what it was himself.

He was also worried that a certain secret might slip out.

Steve’s mouth was gaping open.

He left, not knowing what else to say.

* * *

Steve was covered in blood. His eyes stung with it.

No matter how hard he scrubbed it was still there.

He hadn’t expected there to be so much resistance.

They were just trying to help, but then the military attacked them, completely ignoring the terrorists.

The group that had been killing hundreds had gotten away because the military thought Steve and his team were more dangerous.

They had attacked and…

Steve kept scrubbing.

* * *

“No,” Steve said firmly.

“He’d already been working on this for years. It’s Bucky’s best chance,” Natasha explained.

“Stark made it. He can hack it.”

Natasha pursed her lips briefly.

“Put aside your god damn ego for one second and think. This isn’t about you or Tony. BARF can help Bucky go through his triggers so we can disable them. T’Challa has already looked over the technology and will supervise the whole process.”

“No, Natasha.”

Her eyes flashed with anger.

“It’s not your decision to make. It’s Bucky’s.”

“We’re not waking him up for this.”

“The hell we aren’t.”

Steve tried to block her way, but with one look he knew that was a bad idea.

“He’s not going to agree to this.”

“We’ll see.”

* * *

Steve’s skin felt like it was too tight.

Everything felt wrong.

He was waiting outside of the room that was used for Bucky’s sessions.

Even though he was out of the ice Steve felt like he’d lost Bucky all over again.

He wasn’t talking to any of them and always came out pale and looking defeated.

Today was no different.

Bucky ghosted by him.

Steve tried to open his mouth, but was afraid his skin would crack if he did.

* * *

“I need to contact Stark,” Bucky said almost two months after he’d started his treatment.

“That’s a bad idea, Buck.”

Bucky’s expression didn’t change.

They stared at each other for a good minute before Bucky broke off, leaving without a word.

Steve picked at his chin as he watched him go.

* * *

They were talking, Bucky and Tony.

Steve didn’t know what they had to talk about, but it seemed like whenever he saw Bucky he was on the phone.

He tended to hum instead of giving real responses.

Steve could never hear the other half of the conversation.

“You’re looking a bit green,” Sam said and Steve shot out of his seat and went to the nearest reflective surface. “Jesus, Cap! I was joking!”

Steve let out a sigh, his hand dropping away from his face.

Was his skin getting redder?

“Are you listening?”

“What?” Steve couldn’t pull his eyes away from his reflection. He was almost as red as…

He was nothing like Red Skull.

* * *

Steve examined himself in the reflective surface of the fridge.

“Captain Handsome,” Scott joked, nudging against him.

Steve stared at him, wondering why none of them had commented on how his appearance had been changing. His nose felt numb and he was certain that one day he’d wake up and it would have fallen off.

“You don’t have to be mean,” Steve said, turning away from him.

“I was just kidding.” Scott looked genuinely confused, making Steve feel annoyed.

He was used to being picked on, but this was different. There was seriously something wrong with his skin.

“Whatever.”

Steve left, determined to go to the safety of his room.

Scott called after him, but Steve ignored him.

* * *

“No.” Steve kept the panic out of his voice.

“He already agreed to come here.” Bucky’s voice was devoid of emotions.

“He tried to kill you, Buck.”

“You’re acting like a nut. Why are you so against Tony coming here?”

Steve bit down on his tongue.

There were a ton of reasons Steve didn’t want Tony around, but it boiled down to one thing: Tony knew that Steve had lied to his face for three years.

Steve didn’t want to know how the others would react if they found out he’d kept such important information from someone who was their teammate.

Along with that, he knew anger was what was helping keep his team together. Once Bucky had been frozen he’d told them that they’d fought with Tony in Siberia. They didn’t know why Tony had truly attacked.

If they found out now…

He couldn’t let that happen.

Steve didn’t answer, only discreetly picked at the skin around his fingernails.

Bucky sighed.

“You’ve changed,” Bucky stated.

“It’s been seventy years. Of course I’ve changed.” Steve smiled shakily.

“That’s not what I meant.”

Steve could tell Bucky was waiting for a response, but when none came Bucky left.

* * *

Wanda and Vision were embracing.

He had no idea they were that close.

Scott and Sam looked tense and were scowling at Tony.

Steve had his hands behind his back, scratching at his rubbery skin.

He knew Tony would comment on his appearance. Steve was practically blood red now. The others might ignore it, but Tony wouldn’t miss an opportunity to dig at him.

Those tired brown eyes flitted right over him though, focusing on T’Challa and Bucky.

“I heard someone needs a hand,” Tony said, patting the large briefcase he was carrying. Bucky snorted. Steve hadn’t heard him make that noise since… He couldn’t remember the last time he heard Bucky snort.

“Shut up, Stark. You owe me an arm, not just a hand.”

“And you owe me my parents, but you don’t see me complaining.” Tony’s voice was bratty, but joking. It had also caught Scott and Sam’s attention. “Let’s get started. Unlike you freeloaders I actually have a job.”

“This way.” T’Challa gestured for Tony and Bucky to follow him.

Steve slipped out of the room as discreetly as possible, but could feel Sam and Scott’s eyes on him.

Once he was out of sight he ran for his room.

Clumps of hair were falling out and he could feel his skin start to sizzle.

He froze in front of the mirror. His skin was—

Steve began tearing away at the dead flesh.

His nose was gone—

His hair was falling out in wads!

His skin was boiling!

“Jesus, Steve!”

Someone tackled him to the ground and Steve shoved them off.

He had to see! He had to watch what little was left of his face melt off! He had to—

“Wanda! Vision! Someone! I need help in here!”

Arms wrapped around him, but Steve slammed his attacker against the wall.

He didn’t have time for this!

Red engulfed him and Steve let out a pained yell.

* * *

Steve couldn’t move.

He registered that before he even realized he was awake.

“Stevie?”

“Don’t tell Ma I got into another scrap,” Steve said in a scratchy voice. He must have really taken a pummeling.

When Bucky didn’t respond Steve forced his eyes open.

What year it was came back to him in an instant.

He glanced around. He was in the medical wing of the Wakandan building they’d been staying at.

He was also tied down.

“What’s up with the straps?” he asked, trying to smile, but it hurt to do so.

He wondered if Schmidt had watched his skin fall away like Steve’s had watched his own.

“You were mauling your face off when Sam found you.”

“Can you blame me? Have you seen my face recently?” Steve tried to joke. Bucky’s expression didn’t change. “Come on, Buck. Let me out of this thing.”

“Sam said you mentioned Schmidt.”

“How could I not?” Steve tried to gesture towards his face, having forgotten he couldn’t move.

“Why?”

“Don’t play stupid. It’s unbecoming.” Steve looked away from him.

“I have brain freeze, help me out.”

“My face, my hands,” Steve whispered. “I look just like _him_.”

“Who?”

“This isn’t funny. You can’t deny I look just like Red Skull.”

“Stevie.” Bucky stared at him a moment before he motioned for a nurse. “Can you get us a hand mirror?” The nurse nodded before heading to a different room. Bucky turned his attention back to Steve. “You don’t look like Schmidt. Most of damage you did earlier is already healed.”

“I know you’ve all been pussyfooting around me about it.”

“How long do you think you’ve looked like Schmidt?”

“Just let me out of this thing. I want to go to my bed.” Tears were starting to fog his vision. He didn’t like the way Bucky was staring at him.

“Answer the question, kid.” Steve flinched. Bucky only called him that when he was sick.

“I’m not sick. It’s just a side effect of the serum. It might happen to you too.”

The nurse reappeared and handed Bucky the small mirror.

Steve refused to look at it.

“I will hold your eyes open and make you look.” He knew Bucky would do it. He’d held Steve down more than once to make him take medicine.

Steve forced himself to look and immediately regretted it.

“You happy?”

“What do you see?” Bucky asked while grabbing his jaw, forcing him to face the mirror again.

“Stop.” He tried to pull away from him, but the new metal hand was unrelenting. When had he gotten that?

“I will when you answer my question.” His grip was just on the edge of being painful.

“I see me! It’s gone! My skin! My hair! My nose! All that is left is red!”

And it was damn painful to look at. He wished that he’d clawed harder at his face so there would be more bandages covering it.

Bucky let go of Steve’s face.

“There! I said it! Now let me up! I want to go to my bed.”  

“There’s something wrong with your head.”

“Stop fooling and let me up.” Steve felt exhaustion wash over him, weighing him down.

Bucky made a hand motion and a doctor walked over.

“Something’s wrong with his head.”

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here.”

“Come on, Stevie. Let me take care of you.”

“There’s nothing you can do and there’s nothing wrong with my head.”

“You’re not red. Your nose and hair are still where they are supposed to be.”

“This is Tony’s fault! What happened while I was out, Buck? You got a new arm, but can’t see what’s right in front of your face! What did he do to you?”

Bucky shook his head.

“Please inform King T’Challa of the situation.” Steve felt Bucky take his hand. “Don’t worry, pal. I’m here for you.”

* * *

Everyone told him that he looked normal.

He wanted to believe them, but his eyes made quite the argument against them.

Steve used to be color blind though.

He knew that what he saw might not always be what was really there.

Still, even when he looked at his skin it was blood red.

He couldn’t feel his nose and his head was bald.

Tony could possibly get to Bucky, order him to not see what was glaringly obvious about Steve’s appearance, but he doubted Tony could trick the others into lying.

There were two distinct possibilities.

Either he was wrong or all of them were wrong.

He wasn’t sure which one he wanted to believe.

* * *

“When did this start?” the petite doctor asked him.

At least Steve wasn’t strapped down anymore. He didn’t feel the need to dig his nails into his skin now that his pale flesh was gone. He had been trying to get rid of the rotting skin when Sam saw him in the bathroom.

“I don’t know.”

“Before or after the ice?”

“I try not to think of my time before I was frozen,” he admitted, hoping it would be enough for the doctor to leave him alone. He just wanted to lead his team on missions and make the world safe.

“I need you to think back on it.” Her no nonsense demeanor made Steve nervous. He had better things to do than get his head shrunk.

“It’s not like I was visiting the barber every week. We were at war. I don’t really remember if my skin had started turning red back then.” Steve paused in thought. “I don’t think it was.”

The doctor nodded and jotted down a note.

“Before or after the Battle of New York?”

Steve had been so focused on his loss when he came out of the ice that he hadn’t really done a check of his complexion.

“After. It would have been in SHIELD’s files if they saw any redness. They were very thorough.” And also very much Hydra.

“Before or after SHIELD became defunct?”

Steve twitched.

“After… During maybe? That’s when I found out Bucky was still alive.” And that he had a part in Howard Stark’s death.

The doctor took down another note.

“That was over three years ago. When did it start to become unmanageable?”

Steve gripped the armrests and they creaked.

Was it during Ultron?

Something in his brain niggled.

“Before Ultron, but then it…” Steve’s eyes widened. “It stopped. My skin went back to normal.”

“When?”

“After Ultron! It stopped! That means it could stop again!” Steve wanted to jump from his seat with joy, but the look on the doctor’s face kept him in place.

“When did it start again?”

Steve felt himself deflate, a perverse feeling of defeat settling in his gut.

“I don’t know.” He gnawed on his lip, but immediately stopped. They might tie him down again if they thought he was hurting himself.

Steve’s eyes became distant.

He just wanted to go back to his room and hide under the covers.

He was fine looking disfigured. He’d grown up sickly and undersized. Not looking normal was an old hat for him.

Having someone look at him like he was crazy was different though.

“Are you still with me, Captain Rogers?”

“I think I need a break.”

“Of course.”

* * *

Steve thought about what the doctor told him in their various sessions.

He didn’t like the idea of triggers, but they made sense.

He also realized what his trigger was, but refused to say tell the doctor, to tell anyone.

And wasn’t that the crux of his problem?

If he told them they’d know.

If they knew he’d be triggered.

It was best that he kept it to himself.

Or at least that’s what Steve told himself.

“How’s the team?” Steve asked Sam, trying to distract himself.

“Scott is bored out of his mind. Bucky has started working out more, but is still working with T’Challa and BARF. Wanda’s on a date with Vision.” The skin over Steve’s knuckles felt tight. “I’m glad you’re on your feet again.”

“Yeah, sorry for hurting your arm.” He hadn’t meant to break it. He hadn’t known it was Sam who tried to stop him in the bathroom.

“Bones heal.” Sam’s megawatt smile was familiar and comforting, until it faded away. “About what Stark said about his parents, Bucky wouldn’t give me a straight answer. What did he mean?”

The skin on Steve’s hands felt like they were peeling. The sensation raced up his arms and to his face.

Steve lurched, automatically going to scratch where his nose used to be. His hand stopped midair.

“Cap? You alright?”

“I… think I need to rest.” Steve lowered his hand and held it down with the other.

“Need me to get you anything?” Sam asked, but Steve was already retreating.

“I’m not fit to lead,” Steve whispered to himself once he was alone again.

They all thought he was crazy.

They didn’t trust him.

And why should they? He had lied—

“Stop it.” Steve itched at his arm without thought, not noticing he was drawing blood.

He avoided the mirror in his bathroom even though he wanted to see for himself, to remember that he wasn’t crazy.

Instead he curled up in bed.

Still itching his arm.

* * *

“Stevie,” Bucky sighed out.

Steve cracked his eyes open and realized he was in the medical wing again.

“Why am I here?”

“You rubbed your arm raw, you lug. I thought we should just flip the mattress since you bled all over it, but T’Challa insisted you get a new one.”

“I didn’t mean to.” He didn’t even know which arm Bucky was referring to. They were both strapped down at his sides.

“I believe you, but you’re going to have to be monitored now.”

“What’s happening to me, Bucky? I don’t understand.” His throat felt thick as molasses.

“The brains have a few ideas. I have a few of my own. What do you think is happening?”

“I—I don’t know! Sometimes I feel fine, but then others—I just want things to go back to how they used to be! When things were simple! Everything used to be so simple! We worked for our bread, but now—” Steve could hardly breathe and Bucky’s expression just made him feel worse. “It was worth it, saving all those people, but I don’t want to be red and I don’t want you to look at me like that!”

Steve tried turning away from him.

Bucky was gripping his hand.

They were silent for a long moment, save for Steve’s sniffling and Bucky’s steady breaths.

“Sam told me what you two had been discussing,” Bucky said quietly. Steve refrained from squirming. The straps were thin and tight. If he just moved a little he could get a good scratch in. “I would have thought you’d already told them.”

“Stop!” Steve rubbed his face against the bed he was tied to, but it was too smooth to grant any relief.

“Stevie!”

“No!”

“I think that’s part of the problem. You need to tell them—”

“No! They already think I’m crazy! If they know why Tony really attacked you—That I lied to him and to them! They’ll never trust me again, Buck! I’m supposed to be their leader!”

“You can’t lead from a hospital bed. Would you rather them hear it from you or Wanda? It’s going to come up in conversation between her and Vision one of these days.”

“We could just leave, Buck! You’re better now! We’ll be fine on our own!”

“Damn it, Steve. The truth is going to come out eventually. You already had one Avenger lose it when he found out you’d been keeping the truth from him. You don’t need three others to do the same.”

“I can’t! I can’t! And you can’t make me!” Steve tried to break out of the straps. His whole body was on fire! He just needed to scrape away at his skin. It was dead anyway—

A harsh slap across his face made him still.

“Go to sleep for now. We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

“What?”

Something was jabbed into his arm.

A new heaviness overtook him as he was yanked into sleep.

* * *

“Bucky told us everything,” Sam said. They were seated across from each other, a nurse with a needle nearby. Steve was staring to the side, not wanting to look at his expression. “I forgive you for not telling us. It’s fucked up. Tony shouldn’t have attacked Bucky for his unwilling part in the assassinations, but I get why he did and they are getting along now.” Sam sounded so awkward and Steve wished they could go back when they were running-mates, poking at each other lightheartedly. “Scott was pissed at first, but said something about jail code, whatever the hell that is.” Sam chuckled.

“What about Wanda?”

“She… decided to seek her redemption state side. Vision and T’Challa are putting together a pardon for her. Tony will propose it in the next meeting he has with the UN.”

Steve bobbed his head in a nod and stared at his hands.

They looked a shade lighter.

“I heard that Natasha is going to be coming by tomorrow.” Steve didn’t respond to him. “Want me to ask her to bring you something? A nice American cheeseburger? I bet she wouldn’t mind stopping at that diner you like in DC.”

Steve kept staring at his hands. They had been red just a moment ago, but were now a painfully bright shade of pink.

Was he really crazy?

“She could probably sneak Sharon out of the country. I know you’re sweet on her.”

How was he supposed to lead if he wasn’t sure what was real or not?

“Steve?”

Was this how Bucky felt?

Maybe going back on ice wasn’t a terrible idea.

“Steve?”

His hands almost looked orange now.

“Steve?”

He continued to stare at them and the voice eventually faded away.


End file.
